Desde su nacimiento, el niño aprende de los mayores que tiene a su alrededor e interactúa con ellos. Estos le sirven de protección, le proporcionan un ambiente de seguridad y en general, lo dirigen en su aprendizaje para enfrentar el mundo que lo rodea. Es un proceso en el que se van integrando aprendizajes, muchos de ellos modelados por los seres que forman la familia en la que crece el niño, esta familiaridad hace que tiendan a imitarlos.
Since birth, children learn by interacting with the adults around them. These adults are their protection, provide them a safe environment and in general give them direction in their learning years in order to relate to the world around them. This is a process that will integrate learning, many times modeled by those who are a part of the child’s family; this closeness makes it easy for children to imitate those around them.
These role models are in general, dad, mom, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and other family members. The children will copy their behaviors until they can develop their own identity. This is why it’s so important to be conscious of what we are showing them and why we should be their first role models, points of reference, help support them and earn their trust; these elements are crucial for their healthy development and the foundation of our relationship with the child.
This activity gradually becomes a powerful instrument of communication and encompasses a great amount of resources to build trust and as we relate with them, develop a relationship closer to a friendship. Playing is an important activity for every child; it encourages their social skills early on, enables social communication, and allows us to understand the complex mental structures a child begins to acquire, including the way they respond to complex issues. It also helps them prepare for adult life. As responsible adults, we, have the necessity of understanding the importance of this tool for the development of a healthy relationship with our kids.
Building friendship is a task that begins as soon as the gestation process begins, as soon as we know pregnancy has begun. Since very early, we can, through communication, talk, sing for them, laugh, jump, play and be conscious that our feelings are understood by them. We should understand their feelings, respect them, have patience, stimulate them; that way they will learn the value of the relationship and we can begin building what with time can become a friendship.
We have to be clear that is not the same to be a parent as to be a friend. We can be friends; however we cannot stop being parents. This is why we need to develop trust with authority, firmness, flexibility. Friendship requires equality, therefore, we need to be clear in the difference of being friends and being parents; we are equal in dignity, however not in hierarchy and responsibility. As parents we have a great responsibility which is to provide an environment in which our kids can grow with strong values that will serve them as strengths to advance in an adult world. We should cultivate and promote values such as the sense of solidarity, respect, humility, and the capacity of understanding and trusting; capacity to build homes where there is freedom to express feelings and love to give.
By Lic. Luz Marina Cortázar U.
Clinical Psychologist | Family Therapist
Clinical Psychologist | Family Therapist